Pep-talk Train!

During my past high school days, I started to realise the real responsibility as a student. While making memories with my peers, I was still a mere human though. I had a hard situation, sad days, pressured circumstance and down phase yet there also way to cheer me up. After all, life without challenges really means nothing. Those challenges make your life better and even brighter. Don't grumble over it, ask for a strength instead. People always say that this life is being unfair to them but I always say this. If life is being to you, to me and to other people.. it's being fair then. There's no one in this world got no problem! Everyone has. 

Therefore, I remember one thing I did before to stay positive (when I was in PMR days I guess). I pasted every pep-talk all over my bed chamber, more or less to give positive vibes every single day. Not really every single inch of the room. Even while making them, I felt so happy. This is one of the example I did. Basically, the concept was like a long train of pep talk. So, there's one part of my chamber's wall where this concept was applied. I actually wrote some pep talk/quotes I learnt from everything that I love or passionate about. (that time we're so into EXO though) :)

Example:

Yet, it's so sick to snap every single 'train', so I'll write them for this post instead. Hope you learn something too. Thank you.

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"It's scary to think that one day, all this will eventually end."

For us, it's just a nightmare if something bad happens to us yet there must have effective ways to get rid of those horrible experiences. Keep calm and be optimistic. All is well, nothing to be worried about.

"Readers are winners. Keep reading to make your dreams come true."

Again, I learnt to be a good reader through the book series named 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid'. I used to read them to actually ease myself but this one quote, I didn't learn from Greg but from his mother, Mrs Heffley. *by the time she tries to dumb Greg with her signature*

"I'm gonna make the rest of my life, the best of my life."

Believe! You're the best and you're born to be the best. Remember that you always have a chance and if you fail and you're lucky to have another chance, you must not fail then.

"Never underestimate what's inside you that makes you special."

I got a chance to go a camp with my friends, but then I didn't know why I was shedding my tears. We had our special slot and the teacher passed me this special words, totally heal my heart.

"If you're not prepared to fail, you'll never create anything original."

You're such a lucky person if you learn from your failures. You're such a strong person if you're able to stand straight after you failed. Don't feel down, okay.

"Become someone brand new everyday, a new person everyday, have a brand new image everyday."

People say that we should be a better person from yesterday. Till now, I still remember his favourite key word. 'SUHO', he wants to be a new Suho everyday. He got the stage name and hopefully, he can be a great leader. Everyday is a brand new day so, my key word will always be; 'MIZAH'

"Life is a riddle. Solve it."

We do have to explore our life because our life is our treasure. Sometimes, we can be the pirate, leading our life towards the right destination. Keep trying to solve our problems, go and get the answers.

"...to bind us closer and keep us strong in a special world, where we belong."

I always wonder what's inside his head that makes him extra confident. And, that's what he always remind himself.

"I told myself if there was something I was the best at, then that part would belong to me."

Believe in yourself, never afraid to grab chances. Be bold and confident to unleash your skills.

"Keep your feet on the ground when your head's in the clouds."

I did have a sister that I used to be close to when I was in my high school. I guess she's the only one. I sought for her words and she passed one. She even explained the meaning behind it. It's  more like saying "Always be humble and lowkey even if you're on the top."

"No matter how hard it is, I always smile like an idiot."

It is the best little heal to your heart, a smile. Everything is hard but never stop doing it because you really worth trying for.

"Don't give up on your dream and keep working towards it."

Yes, your dream should be a reality because your dream is not really yours. It's something that you should share and make it real for people that you love. Work towards it then.


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P.S: These are some of the quotes I written, they are so many of them actually. May you can hang on one of these. (I don't think you feel like reading if I write all of them...hhahahah)

Kiss, Kikira.

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McDaniel, love.

Kikira is a freaky eater, always. For those who really know me well are getting used to that title already but for those who don't, I'm so sorry if I go and hang out with you but then make feel uneasy or annoyed with myself. Frankly, I am a freaky plus picky eater, I don't really eat much. I only eat the same favourite food over and over again, once in that eating mood I eat a lot. It's very difficult for me to start trying new or weird food. I don't really like trying food!! There're many people I've encountered, I don't really like people asking 'why you didn't eat this', like very hate. It's like they didn't respect me, maybe I used to eat it before and it's just I stop eating it now for some reasons. People can change, their taste as well. Just accept it, if I don't like it then I don't.

Well, I went for a Malacca trip before with my FA2 teletubies. They're still new with me, I know. I guess I've given a hard time for them. There's one friend asking me why I didn't wanna eat while others felt like uneasy. (so sorry for this). I just didn't know how to explain it, I forgot they were still in a process knowing me well. Some of them may think that I'm a spoil brat didn't really eat food sold at the stalls tepi tepi jalan or the one who didn't eat cheap snacks, I don't really judge you for that. It's not like that way, there're many reasons why and sometimes it's just me can't. I'm very particular about food eaten or taken into my body regarding it's appearance, seller, halal and other sorts of thing. I don't really eat outside, I don't really eat something looks weird to me. Some people are okay with everything like they eat everything minus metal, sand and wood, they like to try everything as well but that's really not me. For nerdies, they grew up with me during high school they know me well, never once they forced me to eat or asked me why and why over again. (they only force me to eat when I didn't eat anything, mind my meals). Whenever we go out, they'll be like 'Kikira tak makan this one', hearing this I feel like so happy and honor I don't know why, I just feel like they comfort me so well. Spending time with people who always know me well always be a comfort zone to me but then when I start making move to another zones, I forgot that I'm making new people into my life. Feeling guilty and bad at the same time. So, there was one time I start eating mamak for like years I didn't, just to fit the way they eat. It's like scratching my principle but seeing they smiled, I felt like okay. 

I know it's kind a contrast to the above principle but whenever I go, instead of eating at restaurant where I'm not familiar with, I choose to eat at the fast food restaurant. I know some people can be so racist to them like 'fast food is not good for your health', 'fast food is only for rich people', 'fast food is definitely a no.', yes I know right but me myself, I trust 'this fast food' than other freaking restaurants. It's not good but sometimes I just feel like they're definitely halal and yes I can eat. After all, we only buy an ice-cream and some fries. Some other people-restaurant, we don't know what type of noodles they used or what type of ketchup they dipped in it may look like a trivial matter but I'm very concerned about this. Actually, it depends on people but me, I just don't like it. (sorry if you disagree with me). Or maybe you'll be like, 'come on, don't be a paranoid. You can't live if you always have that thoughts and mentality'. I respect that too but just don't let me live then. hahahah.

Living in university days too, I kinda in love with McD (McD served the worst food ikr). I don't really love its meals, I just love it's ice cream and take out packaging *so addicted* It's so eco with that paperback thingy, so English-liked I just love it. Just that, full stop.

"Always mind your meals and diet, food you're eating. They'll remain to be in your flesh blood."

-MOM

P.S: my ultimate favourite snacks; HL milk, m&ms, Nestle cereals, ice-cream, kit Kat. (they're all sweet)

Kiss, Kikira.

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/someday/

I'm still young to talk about success or achievement, yet I wanna highlight the word 'goal/dream/wishlist' for this particular post. Frankly said, I wasn't that 'succeed' compared to my other freaking awesome friends. We cannot really be on the top, right? Sometimes, I feel like giving up if I can't really reach my goal but I always remind myself to always believe in myself. People may see me like lack of confidence or energy. I am but not almost the time, you can't see that through me. Let me share some other things you may misjudge me, seeing me studying for these rest years. One thing you really have to understand. 

"Outcome is not important, effort is." 

These words, I inject into my brain nerves every single time I put effort like crazy but didn't achieve that level. There're other popular pep talk people used to hang onto, maybe you're one of them.

"Hardwork will never betray you."

"Don't work hard but do work smart"

I don't really believe them, not saying 100% but more like 34%. I'm not sure about you, but me personally, my hardwork always betrays me. Ideally, those two pep talk are contradicting to one another. For some people, they just didn't turn out well. Working smart is really a good idea after all but people should also understand some people just don't know what 'working smart' really means or maybe they don't know where to start or maybe they got no one to help or maybe they're that kind who don't know how to start conversation just to ask what's exactly they need to plan for their study routine or other maybe's'. These people are existed in this world, not because they don't wanna succeed, it's because they don't know how to start. Well, we can simply say, 'if you don't know then learn'. Yes, people. They're learning but the way they're learning might be slightly different from you. To catch pace with you, all they can do is putting a damn hard effort. It's just sometimes didn't turn out well because that way may be not smart enough. It might be true but have know how those teach those people to appreciate their own effort and self even better? 

We're only young students, not many of us can manage time wisely, plan good strategies. Those people who can do all of these, God blessed them. I'm sure they already succeeded and achieve what they want, I'm happy for you guys of course. Majority didn't, need understand their situation; one may think that he already work smart but still didn't get an overwhelming result, one may put effort like an insane but still can't achieve the target, and other lucky people, who are gifted and don't really have to struggle but still get damn good results. You know yourself that well, only you. Which type are you doesn't really matter, the reason why, how hard you strive are all that matters.

If you are really a good student, all you do is 'smart work'. Of course you won't study the same topics until the exact exam day. You're a doing a stupid work if you did. No, right. It's just sometimes a last minute study (really not a good habit) but you did put effort on that 'last minute' what. *Pat on your back* As long as you did your very best, you really did well dear. People always say it's okay to fail, then you'll learn something but me, still afraid of failing. I afraid if I will regret. I have that one fear by the time I sit in my exam hall seeing the questions and be like 'oh man, I didn't cover on this topic'. That's what I'll regret. I hate those feelings. Therefore, I always put effort on every single exam. Yet, sometimes I still cannot do my best and somehow can't really achieve my target. It was sad, feeling like giving up yeah but after all it taught you to be stronger. Keeping my mind that it's really okay to take some time crying, regretting but don't take to long. Stand up then and try harder. Sometimes, you didn't make it not because you don't deserve to. It's because Allah wants to see you strive even harder, you didn't do enough. Don't feel down, just embrace it. You're worth trying for, studying lillahitaala. 

*sharing session*

During my PMR days, I always shed tears and felt down for some reasons but I cheered myself up by listening to this song and its lyrics. It was so comforting, giving me so-called positive vibes. I owed U-Kiss for this, would love to share with you people. I don't know why but I'll get recharged every single time I listen to this track, even now. Do check it out.

U-Kiss- Someday

P.S: Everyone deserves to win/succeed, there's no one were born to fail. Believe in yourself and love yourself.

Kiss, Kikira.

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'Passport' to retrieve Memories

People said we don't really remember what's exactly happening during our primary school days. Yes, it's partially true but I reckon it always be sweet memories if you can remember and describe those days well. I'm not sure about other people, but me I always forget everything that I dislike along my life journey like I told myself not to remember them. Instead, I have a very vivid views about my sweet memories I made with people. For this particular sense, you may see me always excited for every minor trivial thing I did with my favorites (like an insane). It's okay to look like a psycho, as long as your favourites know that there're people who always be there, love them. That's how you appreciate people, those who came into your life and end up being part of you. Me, always want people to express their love to me so then I know 'ahhh.. there're who always love you'. These love overload made me feel like not trying to find a partner...Ha... It was great to know these fellow best friends since my primary school days. 

*reminiscing old days*

I'm not sure when or which year we got so close to one another, it was in our Standard 2 ,was it? We were in the same class for four years consecutively. Basically, our school got like morning and evening sessions; morning session for standard 1,4,5,6 and evening session was for 2,3. When we were in primary school, we had like a 'gang' (omg, tak maturednya). We called ourselves 'Star Girls' (tak matured part 2). So thank you to our immatured thoughts about giving that name. We did applied some sorts of hipsterism in calling name. Calling one another by 'Zu', 'Sai', 'Fir' and 'Miz', it was the cutest I ever heard. Being a kid back then was always a cutie. We kept buoying one another up,buying presents/wishing for everyone's birthday, eating/sharing food together, 'performing' responsibility together, playing sports together, fangirling together, I can't ask more but thanking you girls instead. know what? We also set colors for each of us; I was BLUE, Zu was GREEN, Fir was RED and Sai was YELLOW (acah powerpuff girls gitu). I really miss those days. We were very close to our teachers. I can't describe one by one but they were always kind to us, treating us like real kids. They were why we can get into good high schools and succeed now. Thank you, cikgu.

After 7 years left our primary school, we went back to visit it as well as our beloved teachers. Not many of them were there, some were transfered to other schools but managed to throwback memories with them in that brief meeting. First time they saw us, they were all be like 'you guys dah putih sekarang'.. Haaaa, we were all athletes back then. I saw smile crept across their face like they were so happy seeing their students came and visited them. I'm happy for that too, yeah we did a good job. Teachers, they didn't ask nothing but you to succeed and become an useful person living. Their pep talk/ conversation, was just nice. Our school got its massive differences as well, how time flies.

We met teachers who used to teach us before. It was so great to see them again, still pretty and awesome. 

*ignore me wearing black Jubah*

and because we all miss our old days, we start acting like a little kid. Yes, we visited our previous senior year class.

We really studied together back then.We also had this kind of study group at Saidatul's terrain (this one pun there's another story) or sometimes we stayed back just to study together. Oh yes, we had a study group together with Marmar and Naeem but it didn't really work because we always busy with our extra classes. I was so proud with all of us; we studied like 24/7 non-stop, at the same time played some sports. #goals Alhamdullillah, everyone managed to get straight As for UPSR. There's another story behind this. We were indeed so competitive. Every exam, one of us will list down all subjects as well as names and recorded our marks for that particular subject. Omg, I miss this. We were good though, all got into at least top 20. (will tell my kids about this) Other than that, we were normal kids after all. We played many games as well. Tiang-tiang (all 98 liners played this I guess), tangga, bingo, batu seremban. *ya Allah ridunya* 

Friendship does mean something to me since my primary school. God blessed us to stay close like this till now, 2017. I hate being a kid back then because I couldn't really do anything mature with you back then. Yet, my immatured days were blessed spent with you girls. We were separated going to different high schools yet long-distance relationship was good actually to always love you deep down here. *hand on my heart* To these people and to all my primary schoolmates, thanks for those memories, effort you've given to me. If I did any wrongs before, I'm sorry for that bad manners. May Allah ease your business and grant you happiness. May #Friendship last forever. XOXO, yehet.

Kiss, Kikira.

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Black shadow of the Persona

Have your ever felt those circumstances when you really cannot fit the way people do? You may feel like 'God, why these people are all like this?' and then you come out with a judgement. You're not really a judgemental person at the first place, it's just how your self reacts towards a situation.

Take this analogy as an example.

Every padlock/lock/secret chamber has its own key/password. People buy/make it because they wanna secure their things or maybe secrets. Why do you think they need this? Logically, a pair of lock and key; the lock needs its own key but if we use other keys to fit that one lock, our effort will just end up be in vain. Well, there are still those people who are effortlessly try to break or hack the using other methods. Ha, that's another issue. It doesn't really fit that way even if you try so hard.

Same goes to our life, people. We're all different; different background, different personality. Sometimes, we feel like we're right like 'oh no, I'm good, these people are not that good enough.' Don't feel like that because the biggest challenge as Muslim is when you feel like you're the best. *Nauzubillah* When you're getting older, you learn how to fit in one's society, one's situation far far away from your comfort zone. You keep making friends and knowing new people, you'll further understand why people can be so different. There're lots of things you may not agree with, but instead of putting a stop on making friends, tell yourself to embrace it. Keep in your mind saying that people are not the same like who you're. If you think like you have a good personality; manners, appearance, beauty, it's no wrong. It's what we called confidence and self-esteem. Thanks to Allah, thanks to your parents, thanks to your teachers/ friends for creating a good atmosphere for you to grow up being a good person. Pat on your back for being that one person. YOU'RE AMAZING!

Yet, it's not a passport for you to start condemning people. I did this always whenever I encountered with people (RIP me, ya Allah). I'm a human, being so judgemental but then, I keep telling myself not to do like that instead. Thank you for those people for teaching me good values. I'm not saying I'm that good but it's so sad to see our society are not sensible about common senses. It's a simple thing but if you start doing it, people see you like a weird kid just because no one start doing it before. If you doing it, people say like you're just try to gain attention from people. For some good people, if you doing it, they'll be like 'waaahhh, that kid is so good huh?'. What even.. It's not about being kind/good, gaining attention or what, it's just a common sense people should get into senses and doing. Come on, are just going to walk passed chocolate wrapper on the floor and kicking it? (example) Yes, you are. No no, think over again! You did, right? Why? Let me answer for you. It's because no one start doing it and you start thinking about what people reaction. I did sometimes. If you're not that kind, just stay be like 'not that kind'. Don't lie to yourself. Personally, I hate myself for being 'not that kind'. I hate our society for not having that common sense, because I keep thinking about what people will say about it. I faked myself pretending like I didn't see anything because of this mentality. But right after that, those guilty gestures passed through me. Hate it.

I did feel some sort of uncomfortable hanging out with people before. I felt like telling those people this is not right and this is the right thing to do. I felt like 'why they did like this' , I just didn't like it. Yes, I feel like being so selfish asking people to be like what I am.

 "They are who they are, stop dictating them to follow you." That's what I said to myself before.

And I learn to embrace it. Being this kind, people tend to 'fake' themselves, whenever they deal with me. I don't know whether I should like it or not but seeing them being somebody else, I just feel so awkward and guilty. Just don't be somebody else, try to be someone better instead.

Yes, our common senses are not firm. That's one of the reasons why we still have those thoughts in our mind. If that one has a very strong self-esteem/ awareness he/she will still do it, doesn't matter how and what people will say to him/her. but you also have to understand, these young people are still learning about manners to environment or nature. Why some adults still act ignorant to these things? Another thing I feel so uncomfortable seeing is some comments written on social networking sites. Budi bahasa letak mana? I'm not talking about this. *pissed off* You may say your parents didn't teach you any (manners), don't put a blame on them. If you wanna be a better person, you'll learn on your own. So, you people. Be a good adult, a good role model to our youngsters later on. Words, language, attitude are all luxury we have. Be that one with all of these.

P.S: We're all not a kind person, always lack of something but we always worth learning for. It's okay if it has became a habit but don't be too ego to change it. If you not start changing it, it will become a norm in our society. Now, it's very hard to find good kind people. If can't find one, be that one. Let other ones meet that one (you). 

Kiss, Kikira.

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Untitled

We did many fun things together, actually. People may see us like a fake and then ask how we can get close to one another. High school best friends are those who grow up with you throughout your adolescent period. I feel like being unfair  because people may see like I spend much time with my high school friends than my other friends. In fact, I really wanna appreciate all of them by writing some things we did together indicating that those memories are all in my mind but I'm lacked of points about it. Hopefully, we'll spend much time together in the future. Don't feel offended because I always love you all. 

There was one day, I couldn't really join Nerdies spending a night at Maira's house. but yeah, they did update (live update though) in our chatting group. They did everything together; cooking, watching movies, fangirling.. more like doing girl things, my girls anyway. That's another way we foster ties between us, enhancing our friendship's vibes. It may be a short time spent but all that matter is the quality of the time spent. It would be double great if I can join them. Remember, that time I was so guilty and sorry, I didn't tell them where did I went. Felt so sorry.

I saw my girls cooked, felt so proud though. Big girls already, now one married already. 19 & married, congratulation. You should ask your husband to read this and see how his princess spent time with her best friends.

Kek Batik thingy (I guess)

Soup thingy

and major dining together with me right after I come back to Penang. No, don't get wrong. I was still a baby, I didn't do anything. They all did to me, not because I didn't want but they asked me not to. I only washed the dishes, setting the table. That's all. Yea..yea... I can't get married yet. Ikr.. My girls are all good, kind-hearted. May Allah bless them, always.

We all updated our Instagram with this post, with the same caption 'Your kind of daughters in-laws'. We were so cute, I swear. #FriendshipGoals

They made a ramyeon challenge on that night, I couldn't join them. This challenge was made while I wasn't with them. So, I didn't really know how it went. I bet it wasn't an intensed one because Arina could finish it. 

and also girl things and photography things. (Sherry, Wani and Maira especially)

I am so sorry for not joining you guys, I joined like the very last day of the sleepover (for about 3 hours). Someone picked me up though. (first thing I troubled them up) I went and ate together with you without doing anything (second thing), was so disrespectful. I'm so sorry for that attitude, you guys la tak kasi buat. Thank for that, feel happy for that sleepover as well. Next time, do plan for another one. Lots of love, Nerdies.

Kiss, Kikira.

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#AlyaaXKikira

                                       

Before I entered my university, I went for a travel with my best friend, 'Alyaa. I know it left a very awkward moment knowing it was like last year but yeah updating 'my blog' is another issue. Although some may think it's no need to but I feel like to because it will be great to be thrown back if I were destinied to have an amnesia one day (Nauzubillahiminzalik). But, time spending/occupying was so precious, the people themselves were so precious so why not.. 

Again, we went to KL but this time it was only me and 'Alyaa. It was so great as we spend like two days, one night at KL and further made our way to Pahang ('Alyaa's hometown) and spend about 4 days if I'm not mistaken. Basically, the travel took about a week overall. We did so many things together including skating, going to the zoo, dating at Korean restaurant, taking care of a baby, cooking, walking all around kampung, shopping acah like Japanese. It was so much fun. It was time where we kept knowing one another well. People always say that if you wanna know someone, stay with her for some days. It's so true! Feeling so blessed, but I'm still a secretive lass after all. ha..

For the early of this travel, we stayed at 'Alyaa's uncle house. It was a huge bungalow and the family was nice as well. Thank for the pleasant stay and hospitality. I played a lot with the kids, I guess i can along with them. A bit childish but I love it, so cute. 

For this particular trip too, my dream to visit all my friends in the zoo became reality. Thank you, 'Alyaa for being considerated to me ( I know I always trouble you up, sorry). It was my very first time 'meeting' plus 'visiting' plus 'taking pictures' with Pandas, my ultimate crush, my favourite animal. Even though, 'Alyaa kept condemning her saying that she's fat, she didn't know how to welcome guests, kept sleeping... She's still my favourite. I was so excited, only god knows. The shelter was a bit luxury with a full air-conditional status, huge 'playground' and good cold air. Definitely comfortable for her and his little baby. Cutie! We spend much time there, compare to other animal stops. We couldn't really make any noise there, also should always turn the flash camera off in case they'll feel uncomfortable. Zoo keepers really take a good care of Panda family. Thank you, thumbs up.

WARNING: It's a spam thread of pandas because the family was so cute. Sorry for that.

mommy & baby

#teamgolekgolek

They have their own 'playground' though

lompat lompat pulak...

Penat lompat, kita tidur dulu...

hishh..lama pulak tidur..

maka panda itu pun terus tidur, tidak sedarkan diri

a cute family potrait. I love the booty.

Mommy left her baby behind

There, he's alone.

We also went to visit other animals. Here, some of them. Unfortunately, we can't really make any photography goals with the animals as there're only two of us. Hopefully, we'll have a great photography goal with animals another day.

so fluffyyy

                                       

                                     

                                      

We went for a date at a Korean restaurant too. The restaurant was so huge like they got different places for the customers to eat. The best part was that you can choose anywhere that you like, and tried anything you want. The internal design was so nice with the Korean culture, together with the deco. The food prepared was good too, so in love with it. 

you can also try that hanbok

It was my first time taking care of a kid, he was so cute. 'Alyaa's village was very beautiful with the green sceneries. Much fun.

*the baby was so squishy*

The short travel was one of  great memories of mine. 'Alyaa and her family treated me so good and nice, may Allah always bless them with His Blessings. I can't do anything to repay their kindness but I will insyaAllah pray for their happiness and blessings. Glorious deeds you gave to me always means a lot, and a lot. Allah really bless me, giving a chance to know these kind people. Atuk, nenek and Tok Aki too were really really nice to me treating like their own granddaughter, was so touched and grateful. May Allah also bless late atuk in another life. It was like years since I lost both of my grandparents, didn't wish anything but thase brief moments spent together. i was too young back then to do awesome things with my grandparents but Allah blessed me with these people. I really wish to visit them one fine day again, maybe together with kids so then they got to know those awesome people as well. May Allah grant long live to all of us for a long love spreading. Amin.

Kiss, Kikira.

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